Well, you’ve made it through the first date without landing yourself in the sack. You’ve managed to protect your reputation while suppressing your animalistic desires. You want sex and you want it now! But sound thinking kicks in and you wonder, when is it too soon to have sex? Is there an ideal amount of time to wait before having first-time sex with someone you’re attracted to?

With sexting, cyber sex and all the sex we are exposed to every single day, it can be all too easy to fall into bed with someone. This is particularly true for those who think we’re all adults and sex is an adult activity. It becomes easy to justify casual sex the longer you think about it and seek justification. Being older, divorced and sexually experienced can make it even easier to justify having sex sooner.

Depending on what you want out of this new relationship, you have a few things to think about before bumping nasties.

Do you know what this person wants from you?

Is this person interested in only sex? Is this person seeking a casual sex partner? Are they on the rebound? Perhaps they are looking for a full, loving relationship. Regardless of what they are hoping to gain from their relationship with you, are you on the same page.

What do you want out of this relationship?

Look back on your sexual experiences. Whether they have been casual sex, friends with benefits or even having sex too soon in a relationship – What has made you most comfortable sexually and emotionally? What kind of relationship do you need at this point in time?

Are either of you seeing someone else?

Oftentimes, lovers see sex as the defining moment of being exclusive. But that’s not always the case. Some will continue to see and have sex with others. If you’re the sort who doesn’t like to share, make sure you’re asking the tough questions in order to protect yourself.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with casual relationships, as long as that’s what both want. If you’re both on the same page – this can make for a wonderful and pleasing sexual relationship, if not, it will sour quickly.