Survey suggests financial stress a big part of dissatisfaction

Americans 45 and older are far more open to sex outside of marriage than they were 10 years ago, but they’re engaging in sex less often and with less satisfaction, according to a major new survey.

What’s the problem?

Financial stress and erectile dysfunction  is the prime culprits, say  sociologist Pepper Schwartz, the sex and relationship expert for the American Association of Retired People, which conducted the study. Schwartz noted that Americans are more liberal in their attitudes, yet are engaging less and less in sexual activity. The survey, being released Friday, is based on detailed questionnaires completed last year by 1,670 people 45 and over (the same survey was taken in 1997 and 2004).

One of the most pronounced changes over the 10-year span dealt with sex outside of marriage. In the 1999 survey, 41 percent of the respondents said nonmarital sex was wrong. That figure dropped to 22 percent in the new survey.

Yet sexual activity — marital or not — seems to be less frequent overall for this age group. In the new survey, 28 percent said they had intercourse at least once a week, and 40 percent at least once a month — both categories were down roughly 10 percentage points from 2004.

Asked if they were satisfied with their sex lives, 43 percent in the new survey said yes, down from 51 percent in 2004.

One intriguing finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren’t married had sex more frequently and with more satisfaction than respondents who were married.

Gender differences were pronounced in several responses. Men think about sex and engage it more often than women, and are about twice as likely as women (21 percent versus 11 percent) to admit to sexual activity outside their primary relationship.

According to the survey, men are more than five times as likely as women to say they think of sex at least once a day, and nearly three times as likely to say they engage in self-stimulation at least once a week.

Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau, a professor of medicine at the University of Chicago who has studied  relationships, said her research — not connected to the AARP — suggests that men are increasingly more satisfied with their sex lives, compared to women.

One possible reason, she said, was the surge in use of erectile-dysfunction drugs by men. Comparable drugs to enhance older women’s sex lives have not yet emerged on a broad scale.

According to the AARP survey, 10 percent of the male respondents took medication to improve sexual functioning, and 23 percent reported being diagnosed for erectile dysfunction or impotence.

The survey asked respondents what would improve their sexual satisfaction. Twenty percent of the women and 37 percent of the men said better health;  14 percent of the women and 26 percent of the men said better personal finances.

Richard Martinez, who took the survery  shared – “It was just a point in my life where I decided I wanted to do more than just sit and be consumed by my lack of finances which was taking a toll on my sex life. I talked to my wife, went to the doctor and began using Cialis. It changed my sex life for the better and now I have a better outlook on my life too.” he said.

Speaking of his generation as a whole, Richard Martinez  said there’s more interest among divorced , widowed and singles in finding new partners.

“We’re living longer, we want to enjoy life,” he said. “There are a number of incentives to take that first step and reach out to get the help needed to get satisfied.”

The  survey was administered in both English and Spanish, and included 630 Hispanic respondents — a bigger share than in the general population in order to provide data for a separate upcoming report.

The Hispanic respondents reported a higher-than-average level of health concerns, but the survey found, “Hispanics are more sexually active and satisfied than the general population.” … ole!