Don't Be A Dunce When It Comes To Sex Lingo... Learn The Terms Dude! 

You’re hanging out with your buddies and one of them throws out a sexual slang term that everyone else in the room seems to know the meaning of — except you. Naturally, you laugh along, not wanting to appear ignorant or, even worse, sexually inexperienced. You can’t ask your best guy friend what the term really means and you don’t want to ask your girlfriend either (chances are she wouldn’t know anyway; it’s usually guys that come up with these things). So where do you turn? To the internet, of course, and to MYSS’s list of sex terms you don’t dare ask about.

Snowballing

If you’re a Kevin Smith fan, you likely already know the meaning of snowballing, but for those who missed the explanation in Clerks, snowballing is when a woman goes down on a man, he ejaculates into her mouth and then she spits it back into his mouth while kissing. You might not dare to ask about this sex term, but you should know what you’re getting into before your girlfriend suggests trying it out. You should also be wary of anyone proposing “felching,” which involves sucking semen out of any orifice it has been deposited in, usually the anus.

Pearl Necklace

A man gives a woman a pearl necklace when he ejaculates on her chest, neck and shoulders as a result of him masturbating on her or thrusting between her breasts — also known as tit-f*cking. Giving her an actual pearl necklace will probably score you more brownie points.

Dirty Sanchez

Put very simply, a Dirty Sanchez is a mustache made of fecal matter that ends up on a woman’s upper lip after a man has anal sex with her. Whether said excrement gets placed there directly from the penis or manually by finger is a matter of debate. Some people insist that the act of drawing the mustache with the penis itself after anal intercourse should be referred to as a Dirty Rodriguez. Either way, it’s pretty disgusting — and possibly offensive to people with the last name Sanchez or Rodriguez.

Cream pie

When a man ejaculates inside a woman’s vagina or anus without using a condom, it’s called a cream pie. This internal cumshot is usually followed by watching the semen drip out of her. Some people refer to only the oozing fluid as the cream pie. There is an entire genre of porn devoted to the practice of cream pies.

Daisy Chain

What was once an innocent term to describe a ring of flowers attached together by their stems, now has a grown-up sexual connotation. A daisy chain refers to a group of more than two sexual partners, stimulating each other at the same time. While Partner A performs oral sex on Partner B, Partner B performs oral sex on Partner C, who performs oral sex on Partner D and so on, ultimately resulting in a chain where the last partner is pleasing the first partner. A daisy chain can be all-female, all-male or a combination of both sexes.

A variation on the daisy chain concept is the “spit roast,” an act done by three people (usually a woman and two men, but the concept works with all homosexual males as well), in which the person in the center is penetrated in the vagina or ass by one partner, while performing oral sex on the other.

ATM

It’s hard to find a porn movie that doesn’t feature anal sex these days. What was once a taboo subject is now a must for porn audiences. Out of the popularity of anal sex came a new term: ATM. ATM stands for Ass-To-Mouth, which refers to the act of anally penetrating a woman and then putting your penis in her mouth. In other words, it’s when she goes down on you immediately following anal sex.

Bukkake

We have the Japanese to thank for this term, which refers to several men masturbating and ejaculating on a single woman. The number of men can vary from a few to over a hundred, the object being to get as much ejaculate on the woman’s body as possible.

Prince Albert

A Prince Albert is a piercing of the penis, usually done to increase the pleasure of both the wearer and his partner during sexual intercourse. In the 1970s, a body piercer named Doug Malloy published a pamphlet that claimed the Prince Albert was invented in Victorian times when very tight pants were in style for men who wanted to “firmly secure the male genitals in either the left or right leg” in order to “minimize the appearance of their endowment.” Malloy also alleged that Prince Albert used a similar piercing to keep his foreskin retracted, avoiding odor build-up in order to prevent offending the Queen. Malloy’s assertions are now widely considered to be false.

Qweef

Qweef is a term invented to describe a rush of air from the vagina that sounds similar to flatulence. In layman’s terms, a qweef is a “vagina fart.” This often happens after particularly enthusiastic sex when air is forced up into the vagina as the man thrusts inside.

myss vocab lesson

Now you no longer have to laugh along with your buddies, pretending you get someone’s joke about a girlfriend’s qweef or wondering what’s so funny about an Automated Teller Machine. You don’t have to admit your ignorance on these slang sex terms you don’t dare ask about. As always, MYSS has your back!

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Photos   Courtesy of Getty Images & Shunga