Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Plug your headphones properly dear   4 weeks, 1 day ago · Permalink

My boyfriend has this knack for online porn. (I’m sure you guys know which sites I’m talking about.)

He thinks that I do not know anything about this hobby of his but guess what – I know how to trace his history on our shared laptop. But I just kept mum about it.

Last night, I went to sleep early and he started watching those porn. How did I know? Well I woke up to a lot of moaning and screams, I thought he was having sex with someone in the living room!

I went out and saw him with headphones on and when he saw me approaching he almost turned white with embarrassment – he forgot to plug it properly and instead left the speakers on!

I did not want to spoil his fun though, I took it he was ready for one hot rockin’ night.  We shared the heat of the moment.

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: You’re Sexy, You’re Cute!   1 month, 1 week ago · Permalink

G20 Protest June 26 Toronto riot cop lap dance — From Youtube user tomekbuga

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Wow, My Date Sucked! – Ep 4: Casual Encounters   1 month, 1 week ago · Permalink

Because “glory hole” is not a fancy way of saying “naval piercing”.

From Youtube user wowmydatesucked

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Sexy Mash-up– Tik Tok and California Gurls   1 month, 3 weeks ago · Permalink

Here is what you get when you combine Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” song and and “California Gurls”.

This is one sexy Mashup!

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Twilight: For Guys!!   1 month, 4 weeks ago · Permalink

Move over ladies – there’s a new Twilight Saga in town – and this one is for the guys!

From Youtube user SecretSauceTV

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Gyno No No   2 months, 1 week ago · Permalink

This semester in college, I had an early morning gynecologist appointment at health services, so I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of old running shorts before heading out the door.

At the end of the appointment, I was putting my clothes back on when the drawstring on my shorts broke off in my hand. I literally had to hold them up as I headed over to the desk to pay the bill. But when the nurse handed back my credit card, it fell on the floor.

I bent down to pick it up, and my shorts fell down to my ankles. When I finally got the courage to look up, I realized that my ex’s new girlfriend — the same girl he had cheated on me with — had just walked through the door and had seen the whole thing… she had the audacity to smirk and say “he likes a full bush honey” …

I wanted to slap her silly!

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Tighty Whities…   2 months, 1 week ago · Permalink

Last year  in college, I had been hooking up with my friend Jack, but we weren’t exclusive. At his frat house one night, Jack told me that we were going to have to put our relationship on hold for a while because he had started dating a girl named Sarah.

I was so jealous, I went upstairs and took a pair of Jack’s dirty tightie-whities from his hamper, mounted them under the glass of a huge frame, and sent it to Sarah’s dorm with a note that read ‘Jack’s a great guy. Welcome to our circle of friends….

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: BJ At The Parlor   2 months, 1 week ago · Permalink

After a day of shopping at the mall with my friend Julie, we decided to take a break at a local ice cream shop. Thinking she was being really funny, Julie started pretending she was giving her ice cream cone oral sex. A couple of middle-aged women were sitting behind her, and I could tell they were watching us.

I was feeling a little slaphappy, so I started mimicking Julie — complete with sound effects. But when the women got up and started to walk toward our table, I told Julie to stop. She turned around, froze, and nervously introduced me to her boyfriend’s mother and her friend. She later told me that her boyfriend mother mention our ‘oral skills’ at dinner one night much to her chagrin.

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: chocolate cravings…   2 months, 1 week ago · Permalink

A few weeks before my cousin’s wedding, my mom came into town to help my cousin with some last-minute planning. One afternoon, I walked into the kitchen as she was eating a piece of chocolate. When I saw the open box on the counter, I could feel all the color drain from my face — it was part of a naughty edible board game from the bachelorette party. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she needed something sweet to go with her tea. She obviously hadn’t noticed that the chocolates were in the shape of penises…..

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Beat It!   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

My friend had recently gotten dumped and was feeling pretty down about it, so I decided to make it my mission to cheer her up. One night, I used my emergency key to let myself in to her apartment before she got home from work. I put on a ridiculous wig, a feather boa, and some really tacky boy shorts, and when I heard her key in the door, I turned on an old Michael Jackson CD and then ran out of her room lip syncing to a song and acting crazy.

My friend immediately started cracking up, but I was mortified when I saw that she was with a few of our mutual friends, one of whom I am desperately in love with – let’s call him Tru Love.

They all started laughing, and I screamed, grabbed my coat, and hightailed it out of there. 

Tru Love came after me and gave me a hug and told me what I did was really really sweet for trying to cheer up our friend. He asked if I wanted company and came back to my place where we spent the night talking and laughing …..

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Sweat & Quilt   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

My college roommate, LK, and I were close until she became good friends with FJ, this bitchy girl who lived down the hall. Once LK started bonding with her, FJ practically moved into our room and took over my space. She borrowed clothes and rummaged through my stash of snacks without asking. Some nights I would come home to find FJ sleeping in my bed. When I got back from the gym one morning and discovered she had replaced my bedspread with the handmade pink quilt her grandmother sewed for her, I was pissed. That afternoon, when LK and FJ were at class, I invited my boyfriend over. We were making out on my sofa when I had a brilliant idea. I took his hand and led him to my bed, and we had sweaty sex all over FJ’s grandmother’s quilt. Later, while FJ was chilling in our room, she lay down on my bed and wrapped herself in the quilt. I couldn’t help but grin…. I then complained to the RA until the “issue” of FJ was resolved and I lucked out and got my own room….

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Frequent Caller…   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

My long-distance boyfriend, lets call him Frequent Flyer, had a killer sex drive. It was really hard to see him as much as he would have liked, so we got in the habit of having phone sex. One afternoon, I was in a bookstore with my dad when FF called. I could tell by the way he was talking that he was in the mood, so I told him I’d have to call him back. A few minutes later he called back again, and then again after that. I was getting annoyed, so I snuck into a quiet corner to answer and said, ‘FF, I can’t have sex right now, I’m with my dad!’ I hung up and turned the corner, and my dad was standing right there glaring at me — he’d heard everything I’d said…..

How do you think I handled it?

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Feminine Itch   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

A friend at college knew the football team, and I was always trying to get her to introduce me. One day, she surprised me by coming over with a few of the players, including the star kicker. We totally hit it off, and I was psyched when my friend asked them to stay for a movie. We all sat down, and suddenly, I realized that there was a supersized box of feminine anti-itch cream on top of the TV. When I heard the guys snickering, I knew they’d seen it. I was so mortified that I ran out of the room and didn’t come back for hours…..

How would you of dealt with it? Tweet me @mysexystories to discuss!

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: 1st Impressions   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

A couple of weeks after I started dating this guy, he invited me to his family’s summer house. A bunch of his friends were going as well, and since I’d never met them before, I really wanted to make a good first impression and fit in.

On the first day, we all went sailing on his parents’ boat. We played a few drinking games, and I must have had a little too much alcohol because I started feeling queasy.

I told the guys I wanted to take some photos of the view so that I could go to the other side of the boat. Once I was out of sight, I leaned overboard to throw up, thinking no one would notice. But just as I started to puke, there was a big gust of wind, and I ended up with vomit in my hair and on my clothes  – thinking quick I called out to my boyfriend that I was going to jump into the water for a dip to clean off  luckily it worked and the crisis was averted. That night my boyfriend and I had the most amazing night when we decided to “sleep” on the boat – it was a thrilling night!

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: The Bartender & Me   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

I was in the Bahamas with my family when I met a really cool girl, Alison, on the beach. She lived on the island and knew all the hot spots, so she took me out with her when she wasn’t working. One night while she was at work, I went down to the hotel bar. The bartender, Jake, was super cute, and we hit it off immediately. After his shift was over, we went for a walk on the beach and we ended up hooking up. The next day, Alison and I were hanging out when I spotted Jake on the beach. I pointed to him and told her what happened, but when I was done with the story, she looked like she was about to pass out. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that he was her fiance.
How Do You Think It Ended? Tweet Me To Find Out @mysexystories ~

Melanie Malia wrote a new blog post: Put The C@#K In The Coconut?   2 months, 2 weeks ago · Permalink

For our one-year anniversary, my boyfriend, let’s call him Mr. Man , planned a special dinner out. We hooked up at my place, and afterward, I pulled him into the shower. He soaped me up all over, and to return the favor, I grabbed my favorite coconut body scrub and began giving him a rubdown. I must have gotten really into it, because I didn’t realize I had started to rub the grainy scrub over his member. Steve started screaming that his balls were burning. When he jumped out of the shower, there were tons of little red bumps all over his boys. I took him to the doctor, and we ended up having to avoid physical contact completely for a week because his skin was so raw…I had to make it up to him BIG time once he was healed!